Create the Joy: A Lesson from the Garden, the Horse, and Everyday Life
Recently, I went to a homesteading conference, and one of the speakers said something that landed deep for me. He was talking about gardening—how to get started and what pitfalls to avoid as a beginner. He had a list of tips and things to steer clear of, but one piece of advice stood out above the rest:
Quit while you still have joy.
It’s easy to have big, grand ideas when you’re getting started. “I’m going to fill the whole backyard with plants,” or “I’ll turn this entire quarter acre of grass into a vegetable garden.” That’s a great vision—but if you don’t realize how much time, effort, and sweat that will take, it can quickly become overwhelming.
What usually happens? You get started full of energy and hope… and before long, you quit. Not because you don’t care, but because you’re burned out. You lost the joy.
What will take you farther is a different mindset: start small and grow over time.
Or, as that speaker so wisely put it: Quit while you still have joy.
If you’re gardening, start with one small bed. Work it, learn from it, enjoy it. And then? Quit for the day while you still have joy—before the work becomes drudgery. That way, you’ll actually look forward to coming back tomorrow.
This idea translates beautifully to working with horses.
In training, you’re always balancing between asking enough that the horse learns something—and not pushing so far that they mentally shut down. One of the guiding principles I keep in mind when I work with a horse is this same idea: Can I quit for the day while my horse still has joy? While he’s still willing to give more?
What I’ve found is, if I end the session on that note—where the horse is still curious, willing, and mentally present—they come out the next day with a positive attitude, ready to learn again. But if I push too far and make training nothing but hard work, no fun? The next day, I’m met with resistance.
This works across the board.
Whatever you’ve chosen to do in your life—whether it’s a personal project, a creative pursuit, or caring for something you love—this principle holds.
Now, you might be saying, “Yeah, but I have responsibilities. I can’t just quit my job or stop caring for my child or parent because I’m not feeling the joy.”
And that’s true. Joy is a feeling, and feelings come and go. We can’t always step away when life gets heavy.
That’s when we have to create the joy.
It’s easy, when things get hard, to fall into a grumpy mindset. We all have our mental sad songs that start playing on repeat:
- “I’m such an idiot.”
- “Why does this always happen to me?”
- “I don’t know why they expect me to handle this.”
But the beauty of being human is—we get to choose a different thought. We can re-write the story in our minds. When I catch myself spiraling into stress or frustration, I’ve been working on this practice:
Instead of, “I can’t handle this,” I tell myself, “I’ve got this. It’s going to work out.”
I remind myself: I can choose gratitude. I can choose hope. I can choose joy.
It’s not always easy. But it’s always available.
And that’s the key:
Quit while you still have joy when you can. Create the joy when you can’t quit.
Because joy isn’t just a reward—it’s fuel. And the more we learn to work with it, the further we’ll go.
